Heartsong Studio

Intrepid Spring

It rains all day again;
oh, when will spring begin?
Then suddenly through drizzly woods I spy one
newborn wobbly fawn beneath its mother’s legs;

And wild pleasure billows forth
as it does every year when the first new leaves
unfurl to the beckoning Pied Piper sun.
Who could ever doubt certain spring!

Yet there are times when inspiration eludes,
fogs in, hides behind screens of sullen rain;
times when I do not chance upon a fawn, a bud, or blue eggshell;
when poetry or painting a sky that’s green as grass does not shift the longing.

Until I remember again to rest my eyes in readiness,
for surely my vision will slide out of the mist or the dark rumpled sea
along with the brilliant, heart-swelling sun. Amid the bursting spring,
I wonder how long it has been since the sap surged within me…

Only but a moment ago… how soon I do forget.
But now when it rains, what a curious difference
with speckled fawns, bright green leaves, and shiny wings.
As befits this time of burgeoning, inside and out, all’s right with the world.

“Intrepid Spring” 16″ X 20″ acrylic on canvas

This painting is one canvas of a group of four, each a different season, in different locations on one tree.

One Wild & Precious Life.

Inspire, breathe in and life begins;
breathe out, expire at the end;
Life is simply a moment, the in-between,
a pause to gather, to taste, to respond.

Caught on the cusp between wonder and fear,
pushing the river erodes me away;
yet letting up means the end is near.
To surface comes this pivotal wisdom.

Become one with the longing to float,
it says: embrace both fear and passion;
nor have, nor cling, nor push, nor steer;
trust with conviction in mutual love.

Old rhythms forever will rise and fall,
but a moment is all I can know.
Simply be. Let Life do the work.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Be still.

“Bluebird Nest” 12″ X 9″ acrylic on board

“Make of yourself a light”. What a beautiful idea to muse upon were the Buddha’s last words before he died. It suggests a common goodness in us, though I don’t know the meaning for anyone else. I suppose it’s up to those who are interested to find out the particular meaning for themselves.

Though I yearn to make of myself a light, how can I?

My favourite poet Mary Oliver wrote: “The Buddha’s Last Instruction” which truly grasps with yearning my dilemma of ignorance. Especially these lines near the poem’s end speak volumes:

“And then I feel the sun itself
as it blazes over the hills,
like a million flowers on fire –
clearly, I’m not needed,
yet I feel myself turning
into something of inexplicable value.”

Echoing back to the Buddha’s last words, is: “Going out, I found, was really going in.” and: “The sun shines not on us but in us.” John Muir, the great American founder of the Sierra Club, would go out in the wilderness and mountains, and find he had gone inward to find his soul.

I decided to investigate through my own wilderness, painting, what it might mean for me to make of myself a light. I’ve also been experimenting writing poetry, another genuine aid to exploring the meaning of ideas alongside the process of painting. No way does my poetry stand up beside Oliver’s, but it did extend my vision deeper in my painting.

Now the painting is finished, I’m facing the same photography problem as happened with my latest figure paintings. What looks like amorphous darkness or lightness in the photo is seen in person as subtle colour layers as the figure gradually becomes one with the light. So, for now, this is the only way to show my result, unfortunately minus many nuances.   Click on the photo to enlarge.

Make of Yourself a Light    30″ X 24″

“Make of yourself a light”
the Buddha spoke before he died,
but how can you possibly do that,
if you don’t know what’s inside?

The Buddha spoke before he died,
although it may seem bizarre
if you don’t know what’s inside,
unleash the truth that’s there.

Although it may seem bizarre
even if it’s your last breath
unleash the truth that’s there,
my friend, what have you got to lose?

Even if it’s your last breath
of all your precious time on earth,
my friend, what have you got to lose
by opening up at last?

Of all your precious time on earth,
you are full of pure potential,
by opening up at last,
your light will find how to shine.

You are full of pure potential,
so find a way to open at last;
your light will find how to shine,
showing the way to love, my friend.

So find a way to open at last,
but how can you possibly do that?
Showing the way to love, my friend,
“Make of yourself a light”.