Heartsong Studio

Saddle up friends !  Here come Fresh Horses -

Do you sometimes sabbotage yourself with doubts of competence ?  Do you think success might be less scary ?
There are 100 legs waiting to help you sort out this dilemma
in this article. 

“Am I good enough ?” 

Many artists haunt themselves from time to time with this sort of lethal question.   Am I good enough ?   Am I talented enough ?   Am I skilled enough ?   Am I creative enough ?   Am I schooled enough ?   Am I smart enough ?   Am I * * * * enough ?

You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t. Reminds me of the question: “Have you stopped beating your wife yet ?”

How can you answer this ? If you say “Yes”, you’ve admitted to beating her at some time. If you say “No”, it’s even worse - you’re still doing it. We aren’t so cruel that we would ever ask someone else that kind of question. So why do we ask ourselves ?

“Am I good enough ?” is a self-sabbotaging question to ask at the beginning of a creative venture. There are always two answers, both true and both wrong.

If it’s “No !” then you are never good enough, talented or skilled enough, because there’s always more you can be. If you were smarter, you would do different and probably better things.

Compared with your potential, you could probably be better. Compared with at least someone else on the planet, you probably aren’t the best. Face it — sad, but true.

To answer “Yes !” is to say that you are good enough. At any one time, you can only be exactly who and what you are. This will never change.

If you were better, then you’d be better, but still exactly who you are. This will be true until, and possibly after, your dying day.

And while you wait because you‘re lacking in some way, life is marching onward. But you aren’t. And time is running out for all of us.

All these doubts about our imperfections show that our intellect is trying to take charge of the unknowns in our lives. Trouble is the mind cannot grasp the unknown. This isn’t its job.

Because there’s no way for the mind to do this, it starts to get scared and worried. Reminds me of the Ogden Nash verse:

The centipede was happy, quite
until one day in fun
he lay distracted
in the ditch
considering
how to run.

So there’s you lying in the ditch worrying over which one of your 100 legs to put down first. Until you think about it, it comes perfectly natural.

A centipede or a child doesn’t puzzle to distraction over how to run, or draw, or paint. They just do it with their whole selves. . .  Boom. . . Like that.

What would happen if you were to let your hand and heart have its way, take the lead, direct the show ? If you were to loosen the reins on your conscious mind, just a little . . . or maybe a bit more . . . do your shoulders get tense at the thought ?   

Do bugs give you the willies ? Set your mind to work picturing a cute, Disney like centipede from Alice in Wonderland, with maybe a different coloured shoe on each foot. Then the rest of you could take on the task at hand.

— Look at something you’ve made that doesn’t seem good enough. If you dare, with your ego mind otherwise occupied, you might become interested in what your “mistakes” look like, what they hold for you to find, instead of erasing them. Study the marks that repel you, or that you reject out of hand. Try to appreciate what you don’t identify with.

— Pretend you’re the teacher and this is someone else’s offering. Why are we uncomfortable with the products of our own hands and hearts ? What powers do these “unacceptable” marks hold that we will not or cannot use ? How far out of the boundaries of your comfort zone do you dare to travel, before reining yourself in ? What do things look like on the other side of your boundaries ?

— What does it feel like to trespass on (self) forbidden territory ? Maybe your boundaries aren’t quite as rigid as you took them to be. This could be a chance to dally in an indiscretion or a secret one night stand, you’ve only ever dared dream about. Getting intrigued yet ?

If you did feel good enough, smart enough, talented and creative enough, how would you proceed ?

More useful than “Am I good enough ?” ask yourself : “Am I ready enough ?”

*  Am I ready to dive deeper into the seeds of wisdom within ?

* *  Am I ready to take a chance on me ?

* * *  Am I ready to dance with the universe ?

Did this newsletter tickle your fancy ? Bug you ?

Drop me a line.

Celeste Varley
“Oh ! for a horse with wings.” Shakespeare
Let our hearts sing and take flight !
http://www.heartsongstudio.com