Heartsong Studio

Since I hadn’t yet discovered exactly what my new process would be, or how to go about “backing into” abstraction, promising to show you my new painting was really going out on a limb.

My goal was to make a visual expression of Bliss, a very new and precious experience in my life.

“It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.” — John Wooden

Please don’t take my choice of direction as the way things should be for you.   I am an expert only in the inner potential that’s calling me.   I’ve gained a new respect for all of you who have ever been students and allowed yourselves to open up unrealized potential within you.

After 30 odd years of painting in various media, in styles from abstract to representational, and a year in hiatus, it was time for a change.   As suitable as these styles were then, I longed to venture into an expanded process to express deeper meanings, by building on past experience.

My idea seemed reckless from the start.

I blithely started with a figure drawing.  “My gawd,” I thought, “I can’t post this.  It seems too specific and doesn’t suggest the universal bliss I’m trying to show”.  Was this miraculous feeling too ambitious to paint?

Instinctively, I scrubbed the paint on very thinly, simplified and reduced the details.   It became obvious that the few shapes remaining had to be even more accurate.   Otherwise, viewers might say:  “Maybe she’s trying not to say something”.    I wondered if my backing into looser work from a drawing was just a silly idea.   Arrgh!!

It’s bad luck to be superstitious.

Each time I scolded myself, I stayed stuck.   But when I could let go of my “doomed” scenario, the last ‘bad’ solution presented new ideas.   Each time I stayed open to what was there, new forms appeared, in plain view, through the thin layering of paint.

Stumbling on difficulties can turn into a gift.   So I traded in the superstition of “I can’t get there from here”, to search for a different map.   Online I scanned thousands of abstract figure paintings, researching what other artists do, until this one caught my attention.

Bride , 60″ X 48″ by Sabina Sule’.

Sabina Sule’ makes preliminary, accurate drawings on canvas, and overlays them with washes of transparent paint.  Then she starts again with another drawing and so on until it’s full.  There remains a misty record of her process and struggle.

It enchanted and encouraged me.

I wasn’t so crazy after all, to think I could “back into” abstraction.   Someone already worked this way.   I eagerly made time in my studio, an hour here, an hour there, with lots of ups and downs, impasses, solutions, followed by more frustration.

Every time I drew from an idea in my mind, it just didn’t fit.  Yet every time I “found” the figure by contemplating the work, it not only fit, but offered another aspect of the subject.   Once I started to find other images hidden in the layers, washing over them became a bit easier.

At one point, overwhelmed by all the other things to do in life, and all that was still unresolved on my canvas, I read:  “Putting Problems into Perspective” at May Johnstone’s Blog .   When I reached the word ” spaciousness”,  I knew what my piece and I both needed.

Eventually, I began to let my feelings swell and subside, like waves in the ocean, and risk short term instability for possible growth.   More hours of contemplation with my work, and a lot more painting attempts resulted in this first flawed effort — not at all what I expected.   Only some of my struggle shows.

Bliss , 30″ X 24″

“If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes. “ John Wooden

This approach isn’t a substitute for either representational work or abstract. It moves from one to the other and back again, until they blend into a truly collaborative relationship.

The many transitions the work undergoes reflects the experience of love itself.  You can’t have endless bliss without confronting some challenges. Every step is about learning to trust, willing to become a beginner again.

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few. Always keep your beginner’s mind.” Shunryu Suzuki

After thought:

We don’t often have the luxury of “explaining” our art before it’s shown.  Thank you to all who read my last blog ” Searching For Wild Mustangs” for being my motivation to follow through.  Just thinking of my promise to bare my struggles for all of you to see was enough to put me in overdrive.  Though I tried to think of an excuse not to keep my promise, there weren’t any valid ones.

The main lesson for me from this challenge was HUMILITY.   After some loose little paintings to keep limber, I’m surprisingly eager to keep exploring this approach.

I hope this encourages you to share your ideas, questions, or any new art you’ve made.   Send me a photo attachment if you like, and I’ll post it here with your comments or questions.