How do you solve a problem like rejection ?
Putting your art out for peer review or the scrutiny of the public can be really nerve wracking. Up the fear another notch by submitting it to a juried show or for gallery approval. Aside from the stomach wrench of outing your art, the experience of being rejected really bites.
Then, oh boy, let the second guessing begin.
You start wondering if maybe you should have made it more ***, less ***, or if the judges are prejudiced, or you just don’t have the ‘talent’.
It’s actually not about the rejection.
The issue is never the rejection itself — it’s always a person’s relationship to the rejection. The judges’ rejection is a reflection of THEIR stuff.
Your reaction? A reflection of YOUR stuff.
We all tell ourselves stories that explain why the pain of rejection happens.
If you think it means you are incompetent then you’re going to be disappointed a lot. Waiting for someone else — or something else — to confirm your right to feel okay about yourself, is no good.
Your opinion of me is none of my business.
Don’t mistaken your art for yourself and confuse rejection of your work with personal rejection.
It’s your art that’s judged and rejected, not you yourself.
The thing we all need to practice is gradually letting go of the need for both rejection and acceptance — so you can get to the point where you can trust your own abilities and opinions.
All other feedback, whether positive or negative, is secondary. It doesn’t define you. It’s just more information for you to consider, should you ever choose to.
What are the chances of having your work rejected ?
Logically, only 3 results are possible:
> Some will like your work.
> Some will dislike it.
> Some will have no opinion.
So there’s only a slim 33% chance of your work receiving positive acceptance.
Decide ahead of time what purpose is served in putting your work out there. What are you really looking for ?
Galleries are interested in finding styles of art that fit their clientele’s tastes. When you submit your art to a gallery to be included in their stable of artists they are not going to critique your work. That’s what you pay a teacher to do. Even a Picasso would probably not be accepted in a gallery specializing in landscapes.
If your art is singing or dancing and you want to land a plum role, then of course you’re going to have to compete with many skilled artists. Competition here makes sense but you know that going in.
You are the only qualified judge of the quality of your own work.
Beats me why anyone would seek out juried artshows. What’s up with comparing different pieces, like apples and oranges anyway? And then, who are the judges and what makes their particular opinions relevant to anything?
Great reviews are the worst.
They mislead you more than the bad ones, because they only fuel your ego. Then you only want another one, like potato chips or something, and the best thing you get is fat and bloated.
The snap win can turn out to be a tragedy of epic proportions. Your success in always being accepted might have disastrous implications, keeping you in an ivory tower, or shielding you from growing and changing.
Over time, a loss often turns out to be a win.
There have been times I was incredibly grateful that my work wasn’t accepted.
Well, okay. Not at first. But eventually I came to see the benefit.
Understanding the reason behind that rejection could unlock the door to understanding a much bigger picture than you currently see. It could lead you to addressing a part of your work that needs expanding, softening, deepening, developing… You may end up eternally grateful for that rejection, as I have been.
It takes time.
In my experience, you can’t learn to trust your own opinions and abilities overnight, unless you happen to be already well rounded, balanced, skilled, and can gracefully shift with growth and change. If you are, please let me know.
Right now you can take your feelings of fear of rejection inside. Without pushing them away as bad and thus making them stronger, accept them as your state of the moment. Know that it is perfectly okay to feel however you do. Sit with it tenderly.
When the pain of rejection has dissolved, begin again where you left off bettering your work. In your own terms. The goal is not to gain acceptance, but to gain the freedom from depending on rejection or acceptance. Stick with your chosen path by being loyal to your heart first and always.
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I needed to read this. I have just put my art up on a website and have been receiving loads of positive feedback. The statement “letting go of the need for both rejection and acceptance” rang very true for me. It made me think about what I want out of this? At first I told myself that I was wanting feedback as I haven’t really had much formal training in my art….but as I only told friends and family, it’s rather obvious I was only looking for positive feedback. Or was I? Maybe deep down I’m hoping someone will say “I love that piece, I would like to buy it!” Hmmmm….do I want that? Who am I doing this for? Very thought provoking.
Nikki, I think maybe you’re being too hard on yourself here. You may not be looking for rejection or praise. What if you were looking for just plain acknowledgment or recognition ? It takes courage to be open to the possibility of rejection or praise, even with experience in showing your work, and it always has an element of vulnerability.
I love seeing your leaps-and-bounds growth from piece to piece, and admire your ‘taking off’ points of departure no end. You give me courage to grow.
There’s another big benefit from sharing your work with friends, that I’m just seeing myself. Opening yourself via your work can increase your self assurance and your appreciation for your own work.
One criticism of my latest work was refuted using a point of scientific fact, but he had a second critical observation, and I agreed with him, so changed it - for the better. Another friend saw something that I hadn’t, and this enhanced my appreciation of it a lot, because it fit perfectly with what was in my heart.