Heartsong Studio

In two days my family was cut in half. After years of caring for my husband with Alzheimer’s, he was moved into a permanent care home, and the next day I had to bury our older dog.

Though Bill is better cared for than he could be at home and sweet Flurry is finally out of pain, my losses seemed strangely sudden.

That same evening, the local community choir to which I belong was to perform the first of three concerts. How could I go on and be creative so soon? Could I concentrate enough to carry my part? Would I keep it together on stage when the music got to me?

Ironically, “We Rise Again” was the concert theme, yet the first half seemed to make my burden heavier. I thought that Faure’s Requiem was such dark, morose sounding music, sung in Latin, and far too difficult for us to perform well.

Why is long awaited freedom suddenly so hard?

After ages of serving others, a time will come when you finally get the green light to care for yourself again. You may already have felt the nibble of some ideas for resuming your artwork. But then, doubts rise up big time!

Can you really do this after all this time? Is it reasonable to consider creative expression after all you’ve been through? Would it be best to leave the making to more prolific artists? Can you lift yourself up and go on?

Creating art can heal.

I had received such wonderful support in my caregiver role, it seemed only natural to give some back. Following through on my commitment in spite of doubts and fears gave me a sort of star to focus my mind on.

Taking part in art making is much more powerful than just appreciating it. I found that giving my breath to make beautiful music within a group had a wonderfully calm, healing effect.

After working cooperatively with 55 other singers and an 11 piece orchestra, we eventually could focus on expressing the uplifting meaning of the music. The audience received a powerful experience, and I too felt lifted and healed.

How to go on:

1. Rekindle your inner light. Take some time to practice meditation, the Remembrance, prayer, yoga, or whatever works for you.

2. Be willing to face pain. Allow all your feelings without reserve, then let them go.

3. Give up the notion of total control, then notice how creative ideas come on their own. Allow them space to engage you.

4. Then, get on with it!

I’m beginning drawings for new paintings. Leaving room for the ideas to develop, I trust that once I’m playing my part, the whole will come to a surprising life of its own, and just as in the choir, my healing will continue.

All forms of art making feed the soul and create a container that nourishes your heart. Your renewed spirit will be reflected back to others too through your work.