The wisdom in catering to yourself.
A reader of Fresh Horses wrote that she can make animal portraits which please her buyers but they don’t really connect with her heart. If economic need or pleasing other people drives you, where do your own needs get met ?
To many would-be and beginning artists, the notion of working on commission seems like an ideal, not a disabling prospect. But to many practicing artists, a living has to be made one way or another. Not everyone can afford to be a hobby artist, although few hobby artists have the ability to please themselves either.
The fear factor is probably higher for experienced artists, because they’re often experienced making art in the service of others’ expectations, and they have a lot of time and experience invested in their present methods. It’s hard enough to reach the ball park standard among your fellow artists, let alone stand on your own integrity, and be the odd one out. It requires you to take a real leap of faith to go where you are guided.
The visions you may feel calling aren’t all that clear either. The finished product is a mystery by definition. Like a catch-22, there’s the fear of the unclear calling to feel something deeper in relationship with your subject, but also the need to trust your heart’s wisdom wherever that may lead.
It takes courage and integrity to go out on a limb like that. You need to see the wisdom in catering to yourself. The idea that it’s selfish is a story to cover up fear of the unknown. I have recently been stalled in finishing a painting I started some weeks ago. My vision of where it wanted to go seemed unclear and stuck.
What’s the secret to facing the abyss ?
Walk into it.
I worked with the remembrance on healing some residue from long ago, and had a vision that was transformative around my fear. It wasn’t till later that I realised how my vision was not just a metaphor for the emotional stage I was going through, but also a direct metaphor for my unfinished painting. And, the really interesting part was, I discovered my painting is a metaphor for some of the past unfinished stuff I’ve been healing.
Of course it was unknown, that’s why it’s original and uniquely mine. This sort of fear is a gift, a doorway to a deeper self knowledge. You can have a look without actually acting on it. If you need to go on making a living with your art, then set aside some self-time to see deeper into your own spirit. Make some art that expresses your own heart’s integrity in private just for yourself.
How do you see into your heart ?
Try learning the practice of the remembrance. It’s a lot like meditating, but serves to fill your heart rather than empty your mind. There’s an introduction to the remembrance starting on page 9 of my giveaway Workbook “Reaching the Heart fo your Creative Potentialâ€. This practice is the heart of all my teaching, including my whole life.
See the heart like a lamp with a genie inside. As you speak the name that feels right for the One into your heart, make an agreement with yourself:
>>> For just a few moments you’ll set aside what you “know” is or isn’t expected or possible.
>>> Focus on being open to being surprised, and not any ideas of what you probably will see.
>>> Give yourself a break. Suspend judgment for as long as possible, and then a little longer.
Then ask to be shown the feeling of your relationship with your subject. It’s not born yet, so of course you can’t see it yet. There’s real magic in allowing the spirit to work with and through you.
Throughout history there have been artists who were men of their times, and yet they maintained their individuality. Rembrandt for example, blown by the wind, catered to the portrait needs of the Dutch gentry. But he also added his own peculiar spin, personality, sense of truth and sense of self. It’s as if, while doing commercial work, he discovered a kernel of wisdom in both his sitters and himself.
When you look at Rembrandt’s portraits, you can almost hear him say, “Something’s going on here. It’s interesting to me. I’ve tried to figure it out. Can you see?”
The wisdom in catering to yourself is that it’s the most responsible thing you can do for yourself, and your audience as well. When your work is truly from your heart, you will gain integrity and healing through the creative process. Viewers will be enabled too, not to see into your business, but to make their own insights into themselves.
How does this work ?
It’s a mystery, just like birdsong, sunsets, snow flakes and new baby anythings.